"Captain Who" Episode 1W: ...And Justice For All - Episode 1 In an empty parking space of a large parking lot, a 1965 Buick Wildcat slowly materialized as a wheezing groan permeated the air. Inside the TARDIS, I strolled into the pool room. Seeing that my companion was no longer in the pool, I crossed the room to the changing area, and knocked at the door frame. THE CAPTAIN (calling out) We've landed, just wanted to let you know! I stepped back, and the door opened. Lisa stepped out wearing a white blouse and pink skirt, with a towel over her head. She finished drying her hair, and tossed the towel into an open hamper not far away. LISA SIMPSON Just give me a minute to take care of my hair, okay? I looked at her damp blond locks, and smiled. CAPTAIN Sure. I'll be in the console room. I mussed her hair with my hand, and walked away. * * * Lisa entered the console room a few moments later to find me tapping out diagnostic sequences. CAPTAIN Lisa, you didn't change the coordinates, did you? I furrowed my brow. LISA No... I checked the other navigational readouts. CAPTAIN Hmm... (Pausing) Are you sure? LISA Yes. (Pausing) Why? CAPTAIN These coordinates aren't the ones I set. I tapped out a few short sequences on the console. CAPTAIN (cont') Oh, well... That's easy enough to fix. I re-entered the coordinates and activated the dematerialization control. The central column rose and lit up momentarily, then fell to its lowest position and went dark. I frowned, and moved to the Systems control panel, and again tapped at the console. The Fault Locator subsystem quickly scanned the TARDIS' systems, and returned a negative report. LISA (looking at the readouts) What's wrong? CAPTAIN Nothing. According to the Fault Locator, everything is functioning to tolerance. LISA But we can't take off? CAPTAIN Exactly. I moved back to the Navigation console panel. CAPTAIN (cont') I wonder... Check the database, could you? Coordinates nine-two-three, two-three by eight-two from Galactic center. Lisa moved to the Operations panel and entered the coordinates. After a moment, the database called up the information. LISA It's a planet called "Sal-us"... Did I pronounce that right? CAPTAIN Mm-hm. Lisa read from the extract. LISA (reading) Salus, fifth in the Kato star system, former home of the now-extinct Saluki empire and race. I stared into space thoughtfully as she continued. LISA (cont') Now home to the colony of New Salus and to Apana Super- Maximum Security Penitentiary, maintained by the New Salusian colonial government. The Apana system houses many of the Milky Way Galaxy's most hardened criminals. Lisa looked up at me and noticed my growing frown. LISA (concerned) Captain? I continued to stare blankly, then suddenly slammed my fist down on the console. CAPTAIN (calling out, furious) NO! I wonşt do it! Not with her! Lisa quickly moved to my side. LISA (confused) Who are you talking to? I looked at Lisa. CAPTAIN The Time Lords; I know they can hear me. LISA (prodding) But what do you mean, "Not with me"? CAPTAIN In that prison are the most twisted degenerates the multiverse has ever seen. Put them together in one complex on one planet and you have a powder keg with a short fuse, regardless of how unpopulated the planet. Lisa looked at me curiously. LISA What are you suggesting? CAPTAIN I'm suggesting that I think the Time Lords have sent me here to prevent some sort of catastrophe. Lisa's eyes widened. LISA Like a prison break? CAPTAIN Or something similar. Everything fits with a Celestial Intervention Agency Grey Operations mission -- send in an agent with minimal briefing so they can deny any part in it... I turned my attention briefly back to the ceiling. CAPTAIN (angrily) But they could have at least WARNED ME! ...Sending me on a Grey Ops mission with a 9 year old girl! LISA (protesting) But... I dropped to one knee to look Lisa in the eye. CAPTAIN (firmly) Listen, Lisa... There can be no discussion in this. There's no telling what's going to happen in there. I know you can look out for yourself, but if these prisoners get loose, there's no telling what they might do to me, let alone to you. I won't have that responsibility. Lisa glanced briefly to the floor, then looked back at me and nodded. LISA I... I understand. I stood up and moved to the Navigation console. I tapped in a series of coordinates and attempted to dematerialize the TARDIS. No success. I turned and looked once again to the ceiling. CAPTAIN (calling out) I want to talk this over! I held my gaze for a moment, then returned my attention to the console, and narrated my actions: CAPTAIN Setting course for coordinates ten-zero-eleven, zero-zero by zero-two... I hit the dematerialization control. Nothing. I paused, and walked over to Lisa. I took her hand and started walking to the door to the TARDIS interior. I looked back over my shoulder, and expounded: CAPTAIN (for the Time Lords' benefit) C'mon, Lis... We'll watch that really long PBS documentary on the American Civil War... Almost immediately, the central column began to rise and rotate, its lights blinking normally as the TARDIS dematerialized. CAPTAIN (to the ceiling, to the Time Lords) That's better. * * * Three prisoners in drab grey jumpsuits hunched over a damaged piece of computer equipment. BECK (demanding) Well, Gorty, what's it going to be? Beck's graven face accented the seriousness of his question. Gorty stroked his black stubby beard anxiously. BIV The time is quickly approaching... BECK (urging) So let's do it! GORTY No! We wait until the time is absolutely right. BECK But by your reckoning that time will never come. GORTY Yes, Beck, it will. But this must be done right first time, or not at all. BECK (challenging) I still don't like it. We've got what we need to take control... GORTY (doubting) Do we? Beck opened his mouth to comment, but was cut off by a sharp gesture from Biv as a blue-suited guard approached. PRISON GUARD What's the diagnosis, gentlemen? GORTY Blown I/O circuits, sir. GUARD Biv, you're the parts man, what's it going to take to set it right? Biv paused thoughtfully, and rose to his full height to make the prescription. BIV Looks like a 3442 assembly, and probably a new 747 processor. The guard nodded. GUARD I see. Here's your authorization, then. The guard passed a form to them before looking briefly at the dismantled equipment. GUARD Right, back to work. Gov'nor wants it back up and running by the weekend. With that, the guard walked off to continue his rounds. BECK A 3442 assembly? The only thing wrong with this one is a trashed processor. Besides, this unit uses a 3012 assembly on the I/O... GORTY (snapping) Beck, don't be an imbecile all your life. All the components we still need are on that assembly. And Ralph back there doesn't know the difference between them. If anything, he'll think we're souping the thing up. Beck pushed the stray brown locks of his long hair to one side, and nodded in understanding. BIV Look, Beck, why don't you take that authorization to the Bursar and get the parts. You're the one that's anxious to do something. Beck picked up the requisition order and walked away. BIV (to Gorty) Why did we make him a part of this, anyway? GORTY (to Biv) Because beneath that moronic veneer he's got contacts, not to mention the fact that he could snap old Ralph like a twig if it came down to it. BIV Fine. But what the hell do you need all of these spares for, anyway? You've got enough parts stashed away to build yourself a nuclear reactor. Gorty smiled. GORTY Ever heard of Drakkar? BIV (dismissingly) Pfft, he's just a legend. GORTY Legend, nothing. You've only been here 15 years, I've been here for 26. I knew Drakkar. The first to ever make it out of Apana alive. BIV Even if he did get out, that was how many years ago? 21? How does Drakkar fit in with us in the here and now? GORTY Once we take control, Drakkar's our ticket out of Apana. Biv gave Gorty a puzzled look. Gorty smiled. GORTY We get control, we find Drakkar, and then with his help we get to the mainland, and from there, to anywhere we want. BIV You think he's still here on Salus? Here on the island? GORTY There's nowhere else he could have gone. * * * The central column descended to its lowest position and went dark, followed by the customary tone to signal successful materialization. CAPTAIN (to Lisa) I'll be right back. I activated the door mechanism and went outside. The door closed behind me. Lisa stood there by the console, eyes fixed on the door I just walked through. After a moment, she sat down right where she was, and continued waiting. After a time, the doors opened and I walked back into the console room, stone-faced. LISA (curious) What did they say? CAPTAIN (matter-of-factly) Well, either do the job, or turn in the master circuit to my TARDIS and my CIA membership. But I did convince them to take care of you while I do this mission. Lisa nodded in grim acceptance. CAPTAIN They want me to leave as soon as possible, so you'd better go pack some things. LISA Okay. * * * Beck returned to the workstation with a small plastic basket of computer components. Gorty looked at him, and chuckled. GORTY Beck, my friend, you wanted to know when the time would be right? Well, how's tomorrow night sound? A smile crossed Beck's lips. BECK All right! Finally, some action! Biv shot Gorty a quizzical look. BIV Why tomorrow night, boss? GORTY Gov'nor's daughter turns 16 day after tomorrow. Beck blinked. BECK So? GORTY (menacingly) So, I want us to be in control so I can... wish her a happy birthday. * * * Lisa entered the console room from the TARDIS interior to find me sitting in a chair near the console, lost in thought. Lisa walked over to me and put down her suitcase. She softly cleared her throat to get my attention. My eyes focused on her. CAPTAIN Got everything you need? LISA I guess so. CAPTAIN I shouldn't be gone for more than a couple of days... The Time Lords say you'll be given access to a Matrix terminal, you'll have a chance to learn more about just about anything you want. I paused, noting Lisa's unimpressed expression. CAPTAIN Okay, okay... Look, they'll take care of you while I'm gone. It won't be so bad, I promise. Tell ya what, I'll make you a deal. Use the Matrix to find somewhere you'd like to go, and when I come back, we'll go there. Lisa sighed. LISA (conceding) Okay. Just promise me that you're coming back. I paused, and looked Lisa in the eye. CAPTAIN I promise, Lisa. (Pausing) Now come on, it's time I was going. Lisa stepped out of the TARDIS to stand next to a Time Lord wearing his duty robes. She turned and looked to the 1965 Buick. Inside the TARDIS, I looked at the viewscreen, and saw Lisa looking back. CAPTAIN (to himself) I just hope that's a promise I can keep. I activated the dematerialization sequence. Lisa watched impassionately as the TARDIS dematerialized. * Copyright (c) 1994, 1997 Wildcat Productions (Rev 01-18)